32 Weeks- 2D/3D Ultrasound Session

She kept pursing her lips and blowing us kisses!

Lips pursed again. :)

To Harper- On Father's Day

Dear Harper Noel,

Today is Father's Day! It's the day of the year where we celebrate fathers in all their forms- dads, uncles, brothers, religious leaders, grandfathers- anyone who influences you and inspires you.

I want to tell you about my dad, your papa.

We have a very special bond. There's something about a relationship between a father and his daughter that can be really beautiful. Not everyone is as lucky as I am, but my dad has always and does make efforts to be a positive, strong, influence in my life. He is my role model, my protector, my inspiration, and my friend.

Growing up he gave me confidence, encouragement, support, and guidance. As a kid he worked hard to make sure your uncle and I never went without. We always had provision. We always knew where our next meal was coming from and that we'd have shoes to wear to school.

My dad was more than that, though. He always encouraged me to reach my full potential. He always would tell me I was meant for great things and he would encourage me to do everything I could to become the best person I could become. He taught me the importance of education and career, but also the importance of family.

The best thing he taught me was in how I watched him treat my mom. He loves her unconditionally. He finds joy in things that bring her happiness and sadness in things that make her weep. He tells her she's beautiful. He tells her he loves her. He laughs with her and makes her laugh. He's always been in love with her, and after nearly 30 years of marriage he's still in love with her. The way he looks at her says it all- he respects her, honors her, and cherishes her.

Just like he does for me. Just like he'll do for you.

I remember precious moments of sitting on my dad's lap, head in his chest. I remember father-daughter dances- he would always take me out for ice cream after and it would always get all over my face. I remember when he would come home from deployments and would embrace my brother and me in his arms. He always brought gifts. And when he was away he always sent some to remind us he was thinking of us. I still have the stuffed camel and alligator he brought back from Australia. Even though these are just "things" they remind me of his love for us.

I think about the day I will see him hold you. The day I watch you climb into his lap and ask him to braid your hair. The day he will hold your hand as you lead him to the playroom for a tea party. The day he dances with you at your wedding. I think about the way he already loves you and it makes my heart warm. I couldn't pick a better father for myself, and I could never pick a better papa for my little girl.

One thing I love about your daddy is that he is, in so many ways, just like your papa. The first time he told me that he loved me I saw him look at me the way my dad looks at my mom. I see in Daddy the same patience, love, respect, and sacrifice that I grew up with. I find the same encouragement and support to be all I can be, the same encouragement to see my dreams come true. I see the same faith for a Father in heaven and the same love for a Savior. I find the same eagerness to learn about Him, to pray, to seek Him, to follow Him.

Your Daddy is a special man.

He sacrifices unceasingly and without complaint or second thought.

He loves unconditionally.

He is intelligent and wise.

He prays for you already and sings you lullabies and tells you stories.

He is perfect for me in every way.

He is passionate, yet helps create peace in difficult times.

I am so eager to see you build the same memories with your daddy that I have built with mine. I can't wait for the day that he will teach you how to pray. The day that he will teach you how to ride a bike and throw a football. I can imagine him holding you if you are sad, scared, or sick...or just because he wants to be close to you. I can see him kissing you, hugging you, and taking you on special daddy-daughter dates. I look forward to the day that he will dance with you at your wedding. Your papa actually said at Mommy and Daddy's wedding that he hoped we had you one day, so that Daddy would know how it feels to dance with your daughter at her wedding.

There are so many things to look forward to with both of these men. I can't wait for them to see you, to hold you, to fall in love with you. I know with them in your life you will always be encouraged, protected and provided for.

I love you. Your meemaw, papa, and Daddy love you. We can't wait to see you and to hold you.

All my love,
Mommy

The Great Rug Hunt

Today I reached 31 weeks. Although Harper is not being "measured" to estimate size or weight babies her age average four pounds this week and 16 inches. That's crazy to me! It explains how tired I've been, though, because that's *a lot* of growing in one week.

Our 30 week appointment went well. Everyone's still healthy and strong. Baby girl is head down, with her back against my right side, facing left, with her feet sticking out left and her little hip and tooshie pressed a couple inches above my belly button. That explains why I often feel movement from four different spots on my belly all at once. It's pretty cool to be able to feel distinct body parts now!

The fatigue seems to be wearing off, which I'm both happy about and sad about...because now I'm finding it difficult to rest and stay asleep during the night. But it does make activities during the day a little easier and it means I'm awake more to feel all those fun movements!  Here's video of what I could only describe is an earthquake in my tummy.

Nesting took it's toll this week, too. I was determined to get everything I needed for the nursery (or, at least find what I will purchase in the near future). Members of my family have generously offered to take care of our crib and rocking chair, and I'm so grateful! We'll be picking up the furniture in a week from today!

So, while hunting for nursery items I settled on crib bedding, drapes, and some decor pieces (a few accent pillows and wall decor). I got some quotes/pictures printed to frame and hang up as well as a wall mural. I settled on a few other items of decor and then it came time to find the rug.

The rug that took me over 5 hours to find. The rug that kept me up until around 8am in the morning. No. That's not an exaggeration. I can't explain the feeling of urgency I had, but I would not go to bed until I found it. I wasn't even tired until I found it. It was pretty crazy. And it was over a rug. I was going to wait until I could put everything together for a big reveal, but since that will take a while (some items may only get here a couple weeks before she's born) I'll post the photos of what we will be using now and then some more once it's all complete. The way the blog makes me format posting pictures is awkward, so bare with me.

Our wall are a light gray and our floors are like a super light taupe-ish/cream/tan color.


Furniture

This is the crib we selected.

Dresser

Changing table

Rocking chair/glider

Room Fixtures



Crib bedding set

Area rug

Wall Decal

Drapes

Elephant rocker

Decorative pillows

Wall Decor

Here Comes 30 Weeks!

Yesterday marks 30 weeks. Which means I will be considered full-term in just 7 weeks, will hit my due date in just 10 (69 days...) and will probably have a baby in 11 1/2 if I were a guessing woman. The time is going by so quickly! We still have really nothing prepared and it sort of freaks me out, but I keep telling myself we still have time.

So, the last couple weeks have been interesting. We had our 28 week appointment a couple weeks ago and both of us were healthy! Baby was in the correct position (hooray!) so let's hope she stays that way.

Week 29 has been a little rough. I am just so stinking tired this week. Pretty much all I do is sleep...wake to eat...then sleep. I'm my own little newborn! To give you an idea of my sleep patterns here is what happened Tues-Thurs These are rough estimates from memory but you'll get the idea.

Tues: Bed at 11pm
Weds: Woke at 2pm (did not wake up once before that). Bed at 11pm.
Thurs: Woke at 11am. Nap 12pm-2pm. Lunch. Nap from 3pm to 7:15pm. Bed at 11.

It's crazy how much I'm able to sleep. I'm sort of grateful for it because many women find sleep hard to come by in their 3T. But at the same time...sleeping so much means my other responsibilities and obligations suffer a little. It really is just so strange. I'm wondering if baby girl is just going through a growth spurt this week and taking up some of my energy.

Our next appointment is on Monday. Have I mentioned how much I simply love our care provider? I love our midwives, I love our birth center. When you walk in you're the only patient there. No waiting. No being tossed around different people. Just personalized care and attention. I love how different it feels than normal doctor's office environments where it can feel like you're in a system or a machine. I'm so glad we chose an out-of-hospital birth. It was the right choice for us. I feel safe there, confident, empowered. It really is just such a great environment.

Overview This Week:

The Bump: Getting bigger! I'll post a photo below!

Symptoms: Heartburn, fatigue, Braxton Hicks. Carpal tunnel (apparently pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel is a thing).

Cravings: Really nothing this week.

Aversions: Eggs.

Looking Forward To: 3D ultrasound and baby shower in a couple weeks!


New bump photo! Taken at 29 weeks and 5 days.

Pregnancy and Body Shaming: Why It Needs To Stop

Instead of an update this week I thought I'd write about something that's come to my attention since being pregnant and talking to other pregnant women. Body shaming.

Body shaming is shaming women for their body type or the way their body looks. Some examples:

"Wow. You're way too skinny. Don't you ever eat?" 

"You would be prettier if you lost some weight."

"Have you talked to your doctors about losing weight?" 

"I have this great diet I think you could benefit from if you want to lost weight."

"A moment on the lips, forever on the hips."

Of course body shaming happens to men and women, but for some reason women tend to get the bulk of it. I'm sure you, reader, are shaking your head in agreement with me: This is so wrong! Why would anyone say these things to someone else? Commenting on a woman's body shape, size, or type is completely inappropriate. I would *never* do that.

So why, then, if body shaming is probably mostly universally seen as unacceptable behavior, do we as a society or individuals feel it suddenly becomes okay when a woman becomes pregnant? Do any of these sound familiar?

"Wow. You're so HUGE!"

"You don't even look pregnant."

"Are you sure there's only one in there!?"

"Is your baby going to be okay? You don't look big enough for them to be healthy."

"Are you sure you're pregnant?"

"Man. You're so big you must be miserable."

Look. I'm guilty. I know I've told women "Aww, what a tiny little bump" or told them "Wow. You're getting so big!" But you know what? I was wrong. It needs to stop. I understand you don't intend to hurt feelings. You don't want to make people feel bad. Neither did I. I just never even imagined my comments could be hurtful. It wasn't until I experienced those comments as hurtful that I understood the extent to which they can really hurt someone. I'm writing this to promote awareness, because I was never aware. You're not a bad person if you do or have made these comments. But I think it's important that we talk about it, because truly even if well intentioned, your comments (and the ones I have made myself) may not be taken positively.

What if the woman you're telling that she's huge is self-conscience about it? What if she's uncomfortable? What if she just spent and hour and a half trying to squeeze into those maternity jeans she just bought last week that aren't fitting anymore? What if she's worried about losing the baby weight? What if she has preclampsia or gestational diabetes and that's why she appears so "huge"?

What if the woman you're telling doesn't look pregnant lost a baby the last time she was? What if she struggled with infertility and waited years to have her beautiful baby bump? What if she's worried about not gaining enough weight? What if she has lost 20 or 30 pounds in pregnancy due to severe morning sickness? What if she's worried about losing her baby and telling her she doesn't look pregnant reinforces the fear that soon she may not be?

Telling a woman she is "huge" or telling her "she doesn't look pregnant" is body shaming. You're commenting on a woman's size, shape, form, or body type...something she simply has no control over. You're telling her that those stretch marks on her "non-pregnant looking belly" are for nothing. That her backaches and heartburn and all the other work her body is doing is for nothing. You're telling her she doesn't look pregnant, she just looks fat. You're telling her that she doesn't look healthy. You're telling her she's abnormal.

She's not. Women carry babies differently. Some all in the front, some all over the body, some prominent, others not so prominent. And every pregnancy is different, too. But guess what? It's not for you to comment on.

Instead of commenting on the way a mother looks, why not just *ask* her how's she's feeling? Talk to her about her baby: name, nursery ideas, ect. She may think she looks amazing, and you telling her she looks abnormal can hurt. She may feel she looks terrible, and you can easily reinforce that idea. But if you *ask* her how she feels or simply talk to her about all the things she has to be excited for, don't you think that's so much more positive than making comments about her body? Something you would surely never do if she were never pregnant.

When we focus on a way a woman looks during pregnancy, not only do we run the risk of saying something hurtful, but we reinforce the idea that women gain their value from physical beauty. Instead of focusing on how they look, we should focus on how they feel and what we can do to love them, support them, encourage them, and empower them.

Some women are okay with or even like people commenting on their body while they are pregnant. But many do not. If you simply ask questions you can easily distinguish the women it's okay to make a comment to and the ones it's not.

So please. Think about what you're doing the next time you make a comment about a woman's body. It's not okay before pregnancy and it's not okay during. It's also not okay after ("wow, you still look pregnant!" is not acceptable after a woman has given birth), but that's a post for a different day.